


and we're starting at the end

by dessertmeltdown



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-17
Updated: 2014-02-17
Packaged: 2018-01-12 18:46:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1195608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dessertmeltdown/pseuds/dessertmeltdown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Harry sees Niall he's bouncing around bootcamp with a guitar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and we're starting at the end

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ohohstarryeyed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohohstarryeyed/gifts).



> Happy Birthday to my favorite person in the world, Lee. This is absolutely for you because you love this pairing most of all and because ILU lots. <333
> 
> Thanks to Elissa for the read through! Any typos and the like are all my doing.

The first time Harry sees Niall he's bouncing around bootcamp with a guitar. He keeps cropping up, singing songs and chatting up everyone. Harry notices him, but he doesn't go up to him. He's not sure why; he just doesn't.

+

The first time Harry meets Niall, properly meets him, he's just been rejected from The X Factor, and he's got his bag in his hands. Harry's standing on the steps wondering what he's going to do now – go home, go back to school, keep working at the bakery, he thinks, but he knows it won't be the same now. He's had a taste of what it might feel like to make it, and he doesn't want to go _home_.

He sees Niall come out after him, looking possibly worse than he does. “Heya,” Niall says, forcing a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. 

Harry's about to say something when one of the producers comes out to the steps and starts rounding everyone back in. Harry doesn't really want to do any interviews right now, and he's in the middle of telling everyone just that when they start calling out names.

Simon is talking, and Harry almost misses a lot of what he's saying because of his own heartbeat. Five minutes ago he was going home, and now he's staying. He's staying in a _band_ , and even though that wasn't really his plan, he's happy to see where it goes.

After they accept the offer they're all on a high. They go backstage and start talking about what they're going to do now. How are they going to dress? What are they going to sing? Harry's not _nervous_ because he knows that he can do this, or at least he thinks that he can do this. At least he's not alone, which suddenly seems very very important.

“You alright, mate?” Niall steps up beside him, smiling widely. “This is'll be fun. Never really thought about being in a band.” The others – Harry thinks their names are Louis, Zayn, and Liam, have dissolved into a conversation about what types of music they all like, and he hadn't even realized that they weren't talking about clothes anymore.

“Yeah,” Harry nods. “I'm excited.”

Niall grins beside him and smacks him on the back. Something about Niall instantly calms him. He wonders if Niall has that effect on everyone or if it's just Harry himself. “Come on, then, Louis wants to have a bit of a party to celebrate.”

Harry can't help but follow Niall wherever he goes.

+

Once everything gets settled, it turns out that Harry doesn't have to work that hard at making people like him. He's good at that; they all are. Girls turn up for him in dozens and then in hundreds, and sometimes it's a little overwhelming. 

They don't win The X Factor but they still get signed, which is a small miracle, and one they don't plan on taking for granted. The first time they perform _What Makes You Beautiful_ live, they're all nervous, but Harry is a mess. For a second he can't remember the words, and when it's time for his solo he forgets how to breathe. He feels awful for ruining their first time on television outside of The X Factor, and he knows it will be his fault when they lose all the good press and recognition they've managed to get.

After their performance he hides back stage and looks at twitter. In the back of his mind, he knows that's a bad idea, but he does it anyway. There are nice things, supportive things, but there are also a lot of comments about how shit he is and how people knew they would embarrass themselves. He feels responsible.

“Heya.” Niall sits down next to him against the wall. “Shouldn't be looking at all that mess, you know. It'll do your head in.”

“I know,” Harry sighs, sliding his phone into his pocket. “I was awful.”

“Nah. You had a bad night, Haz. It happens. Can't let it get you down.”

“How long have you been practicing that speech in your head?” Harry knows Niall means well, but it's not really making him feel _better_. He just wants to please everyone, to show them they can do this and that Simon was right to take a chance on them. He wants everyone to like them.

“Since you mucked up your solo.” Niall smiles and pokes Harry in the arm. “Lets go get a pint. It'll calm you down. You'll forget about all of this.”

Harry isn't entirely sure that's true, but Niall smiles at him in a way that makes him feel like anything Niall says is the truth. He nods slightly and stands, tugging Niall up with him.

They make their way out of the studio and into a waiting car. It's just the two of them – they'd snuck out before anyone else could notice, and Harry knows soon he'll have worried text messages from Louis and probably Liam as well, but right now he just wants to go with Niall and not have to talk about his mess up.

They sit in the pub for a while, a place that doesn't bother to ID them and at least pretends not to recognize them, something Harry is thankful for tonight. He resists the urge to look at his phone. He can feel it buzzing in his pocket.

“Haz, give me your phone.” Niall gives him a stern, careful look. It's not really something he's used to seeing on Niall's face. “I can tell you're itching to check your replies.”

“I think Louis is texting me,” he says. “Maybe we should have told the lads we were leaving.”

“I let them know.” Niall rolls his eyes. “Now come on.” He holds his hand out. “Hand it over. We're not thinking about the performance.” Harry sighs and hands his phone to Niall, not looking at it before he does, though he wants to. “You can have this back when I think you can be trusted with it.” Niall slips it into his pocket. 

“When will that be?” Harry needs his phone. Probably.

“I'll let you know,” Niall says, hiding his smile. “Come on. Let's get some air.” He drops some money on the table and nods towards the door of the pub. They walk the side walk, side by side. It's gone a bit quiet now, Niall's voice not filling the awkward spaces the way it was at the pub. There aren't many people walking around now, and it's too quiet for awkward silence, so Harry decides to fill in the spaces. “What if everyone thinks we've failed because of this?”

“Don't be ridiculous. No one is going to think we've failed. You had a bad night, and we're not going to blame you for that. Do you think we're like that?”

“No, but you don't have to blame me.” Harry shrugs. “Anyway, what if this stops people taking us seriously?”

Niall laughs. “Haz, we're in a boy band. People aren't going to take us seriously sometimes. We're going to have to be okay with that, yeah? Whether or not people take us seriously isn't on one of us, and it especially won't be because of one bad performance.”

“Alright.” Harry sighs. “Alright, I know you're right.”

“Good.” Niall grins. He bumps Harry's shoulder with his own. Harry doesn't really feel _better_ , but he feels alright. It'll have to do, he supposes.

+

The first time they play a headlining show, a real headlining show, for people who are there to see just _them_ , Harry is a mess of nerves. He's pacing the dressing room alone when Niall comes in. He can hear Zayn and Louis laughing about something outside. Niall closes the door and blocks the sound of Liam's offended voice.

“Nervous?” Niall steps in front of him, blocking his pacing. 

“Is it that obvious?” Harry sighs and falls onto the sofa that's been provided. “How are you so calm?”

Niall sits next to him. “I'm not really. I'm just good at faking it.” Niall grins, patting Harry's thigh. “I do well on stage; it's not that I don't get nervous – I do. You just have to find something to focus on. They say if you picture the entire audience in their pants - “

“Stop there.” Harry laughs.

“Seriously though, I think about you lads. I think about playing stadiums some day, about being successful. You just need to find something like that, yeah?” Niall smiles, and with that Harry thinks he might be okay on stage.

+

It just keeps getting bigger. _They_ just keep getting bigger. They're the biggest band in the world, and they get to go all over. They're back home, and Harry's bought this flat, but it's lonely. He doesn't really like being by himself, so he's not sure why he bought a house. He thinks about going to Louis', but Eleanor is in town. Then he remembers Niall is in town, and he knows that Niall will want to hang out.

Niall shows up with beer and pizza, and Harry doesn't care about that, but he's thankful that Niall is in town. Niall tends to go back to Ireland on breaks, and while they talk on the phone, it's nice to have him _here_.

They sit on the sofa and Harry puts on the television; he just puts it on quietly. “Thanks for coming. I don't know why I even bought this place. I hate being alone.”

“I could have told you that,” Niall says, laughing. “You don't do well on your own, mate.”

“No, I don't,” Harry says. “Do you wanna sleep on the sofa?”

“Nope.” Niall grins. “You've got a massive bed, Haz. We're sharing. Don't act like you're shy.”

Harry's shared plenty of beds with plenty of mates, even with the lads plenty of time, but something about sharing with Niall – just Niall – makes his heart beat just a little faster. It's not the first time Niall has turned him on his head, but he's starting to notice it more and more.

“Heyyyy,” Harry grins. “I can be shy. I'm completely modest.”

“Right, modest. Exactly the word I'd use to describe you.” Niall grins back, wide and open.

Harry clears his throat. “Right. So I'm going to do something completely modest now.” He ducks in and presses a kiss Niall's lips. 

“What was that for?”

“Don't know. I wanted to, I guess.” Harry shrugs. “That a problem?”

“Nope.” Niall grins. “I think I'm going to head to bed.” He jumps off the couch and races halfway down the hall before calling out. “You coming?”

Harry laughs a little as he stands. He's well and truly fucked, and he knows it.

+

Harry wakes up and Niall is gone. His first thought is that Niall realized what a huge mistake getting off with one of your best friends is and ducked out. Harry figures that's not really Niall's style though, and he's about to call him when he hears the front door click open.

“Harry mate, do you realize you don't have any food?” He pops into the bedroom and holds up a tray with coffees and a bag of pastries. “I had to go down to the coffee shop on the corner.”

“Well, you didn't _have_ to.” Harry sits up in bed, shamelessly naked. “I'll accept your offerings, however.”

“I'm not surprised.” Niall grins. “You'll always accept food. We have that in common.” He sits on the bed next to Harry, sitting the tray of coffees and pastries between them. “So, last night happened.” Niall grins.

 

“Yep.” Harry nods. “We should probably - “

“Don't worry about it. We don't have to make it a thing. We're mates. Sometimes mates - “

“What if I wanted to make it a thing?” Harry clears his throat. “It's just – any time I'm nervous or anxious, there's one thing that makes it better – and that thing, well, it's you, you know? You're always there when I need someone to snap me out of it.”

“Oh,” Niall says. “So this is something you'd like to do again then.”

“Yeah, if you want.”

“Harry, you're an idiot.” Niall looks fond, so Harry doesn't think he's being mean or anything, but he thinks this might be Niall's way of letting him down gently. “Don't be an idiot.” He leans over the coffees and presses his lips to Harry's. 

Harry's sure that there's a lot more to talk about – what this means for the band, how they're going to handle themselves when it comes to the fans, and any number of things he's not really thinking about right now. It's just – Niall is kissing him, and Harry can't do anything besides kiss him back. 

+

The crowd is one of the worst that Harry's seen in a while. They try to arrive separately to places now, or at least before the crowds go to wild, but they step outside the airport and everything is a bit mad. Harry finds Niall's hand behind him and grips it tight. Niall does better in crowds now, but he still doesn't do well. They crowd into the car, Harry and Niall in the back, behind Liam, Zayn and Louis in the middle section.

Everyone turns back to check on Niall, but Harry leans into him and rubs his back. Harry's never considered that maybe Niall needs him as much as he needs Niall, but when Niall rests against him, lays his head on Harry's shoulder and just breathes against him, Harry can sense it.

He's always been thankful for Niall, even before they started this thing that they have, but it's different now. He's thankful in a different sort of way, and when Niall turns into him a little and says, “thanks,” he feels the weight of it. 

+

They go on a break after they tour for the fourth album. It's nothing like the short breaks they've taken before. There's no tour planned, no studio time, just a vague idea that something will happen with the band in a few months time when they all come back together to talk out the future. They still owe two albums, but they're burnt out and they all need a break. 

The other guys have their families and girlfriends, and other than promising to call Harry doesn't really think about it much. He's got his mind on other things. He and Niall go home to their shared flat, just a flat because after a string of houses they decided that's really all they need.

“So I think Louis' going to propose to El,” Niall says in conversation over breakfast one morning. “Strange, the Tommo being married.”

“I know,” Harry smiles. He taps his fingers on the table. “Do you think it's so bad? Being married? Ever thought about it?”

“Harry Styles, are you proposing?” Niall laughs a little to himself and ducks his head.

“Why? Are you saying yes?” Harry looks at Niall, seriously, and taps his finger again. “Because if you're saying yes, I might be asking.”

“Harry.” Niall stops. “I - “ Harry gets this feeling deep in the pit of his stomach – the feeling he used to get before going out on stage, the feeling like he's going to let someone down. “Yes, yes, of course you idiot, if you're asking I'm saying yes.” He practically leaps across the table and throws his arms around Harry. 

Harry laughs and wraps his arms around Niall's neck and kisses him slow and easy. If Harry's honest, he's always wanted this.

+

The first time Harry sees Niall he's bouncing around bootcamp with a guitar. 

He thinks about going up and introducing himself, but for some reason he stops himself. Something about Niall is too big, too much, for Harry to take that step. Harry feels like this blond kid with his guitar and his smile are going to be important, but he's too focused on doing well to worry about it right now. Maybe if they both make it through. 

Maybe then.


End file.
